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Butter Cow has a beef with slate of presidential candidates

Earlier today I received a communique from Butter Cow, the only bovine running for president. She had remained silent since the Iowa straw poll last August, but with the first in the nation Iowa Caucuses less than five weeks away,  her campaign is gearing up once more. Here’s what she had to say:

“My fellow Iowans, it is time to quit chewing the cud and start talking about my campaign. I’ve had the opportunity to see many of these candidates up close as they tip-toed through the manure this past August. In my opinion here is how they stack up:

On Cain….not a chance, this 9 9 9 is like too much “stuff” from the field. It’s an idea that needs to go back to the pasture.

On Bachmann….no way, one female in the race is enough and that’s me!

On Gingrich….I like Newt but he looks like my brother and he uses big words that are udderly impossible for most of us to understand.

On Huntsman….He’s probably OK but he’s from Utah and they ski and they have lots of salt water. Not sure we can digest that.

On Perry….Well, one minute he’s going to cut agencies and the next he can’t remember which one, he might cut. And he’s got this voting age all mixed up. He get’s one “cow pie” for being forgetful.

On Romney… No Cowabunga, just doesn’t get it.

On….Ron Paul….Bovines have a certain life expectancy, I think mine may be longer than his.

I love this campaign, but note that Butter Cow has no Facebook page or a Twitter feed. Butter Cow, if you’re listening, may I be your social media director?

P.S.: If you want to support Butter Cow’s campaign, buy a Butter Cow T-shirt.

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